Showing posts with label real life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label real life. Show all posts
Thursday, 30 August 2018

The Hard Side of Parenting

When you first plan on having children, it's easy to think of your life with a cute, little baby to cuddle, kiss and dress, teach it new things and help it explore the world. The thought of unconditional love between you both is second to none but although you do get all the lovely stuff, there are definitely some harder times too.

I have been a parent for close to six years now, with my eldest being four so we are well out of our "baby" days. I would like to think that I am experienced enough at all aspects of parenting (minus teenage years of course, I imagine that's a whole new kettle of fish) and I'd like to share some things that, in my eyes, can be tough and have you reaching for a glass of wine on an evening. Life isn't always as it's portrayed on Instagram!

Illnesses and Ailments
This is something that will be ongoing from newborn right up to teenage years and it is the one thing that I still struggle with now. Both of my children had colic as newborns and if you haven't had a child with colic, you are lucky! It was probably the first time that I thought, "This parenting thing can be kind of tough" and I'm not ashamed to admit that I did cry on occasion both out of frustration of not being able to settle the baby to sleep so that I could get some sleep, but also because I felt bad that I couldn't take that pain away quick enough. It's a lot harder when they can't speak and tell you what's wrong too.

As the children get older, you have many other things to contend with, especially when they start school. Threadworms and nits are always lovely, especially when you have to disinfect your entire house and my absolute favourite, sickness bugs where you are the parent so if your child is up in the night vomiting all over the bed and floor, guess who's gotta clean that up?

Of course your child may have skin condition such as eczema, or like my daughter E, keratosis pilaris (sorry kid, you got that from me!) but all I can say is, thank heavens for online stores like The Independent Pharmacy where you can browse and buy in the middle of the night when you're up comforting a child with sore skin.

Independence 
I am all for letting my children make their own decisions, know their own minds but sometimes it comes back and bites me in the @$$. I've written before about how C has ASD and one thing that he does a lot is question authority. If myself or his daddy give him an instruction or tell him to do something, he will challenge it a lot and "answer back" (we get a lot of "You can't control me"). A lot of the time he doesn't realise that he is doing it, he's mostly mimicking us and as much as it gives us The Rage, we have to acknowledge that it stems from the ASD and try and explain why he can't do that as the last thing we want is him getting in trouble at school.


E, on the other hand, is the definition of a Sassy Diva who thinks she can do what she wants, when she wants. Now, after four years of parenting her compared to six years with her brother, I'm willing to bet that this is a girl thing and will only get worse as time goes on. Lord, help us with the tween/teen stage!

Potty training
Those words almost give me shivers and I am so glad that I will never have to potty train again. There is so much to think about; is my child ready? How do I introduce a potty? Are they too young/old? Should I use pull ups or go straight to pants? And don't even get me started on night time!

C was a late bloomer and didn't train until he was around 3 and was out of bedtime pull ups by 3.5, just before nursery started. Although he took his time getting there, it was relatively easy and it only took us around a week to be dry in the day. I went in feeling optimistic with E because I'd done it before. Wrong. She was terrified of the toilet, would keep having accidents even though she knew where the toilet or potty was but I knew that it was just because she liked the security of a nappy and introducing a potty was daunting. Obviously, we got there in the end and it was like a switch had been flipped. 

Mum Guilt
This is something that I get a lot and it's usually over the silliest of things. I didn't spend a lot of one on one time with the kids because I had a ton of cleaning to do, we didn't leave the house for two days because it was pouring down, we had a busy day so it was McDonald's on the way home rather than a nutritious home cooked meal, I lost my £%$& because E kept kicking her brother and C hit her back so I was a bit of a shouty mum. It happens and that's okay


Would you add anything else to my list? What do you struggle with?

(This is a sponsored post.)

Thursday, 22 March 2018

Real Life with Two Children Under Six

Just as my eldest child (C, now 5 years old) turned one, I began to get broody again. There is a ten year age gap between myself and my sister and I knew that I wanted my own children to be close in age. I had imagined them playing together, forming a wonderful bond and eventually having each other's backs as they moved into their teenage years.


We have great times, there's no doubt about that. It is so clear that they love each other to bits and I know they will defend each other to the death when they are teens. They love to play nicely together on occasion, especially when it comes to their mutual love of superheroes. But now? It can be hard. One thing I didn't know much about as I was effectively an only child until the age of 10, were the sibling fights. Oh, the sibling fights! If they can find something to argue over, no matter how silly or trivial, they will argue over it. Arguing sometimes isn't enough.We will even have hitting and hair pulling and at these moments, I do become a bit of a shouty mum because I am not going to allow them to get away with that kind of behaviour. I have been known to leave a room and count to five before I explode.

They bounce off each other a lot too so if C is in his, what I like to call, "his funny half hour" where he just giggles and laughs about everything, taking nothing seriously, E will be right there adding fuel to the fire and thus igniting my inner rage. Usually I can let this go but if it happens over homework time, no way. At the ages of five and three, I am definitely well aware that they do push boundaries and see what they can get away with. It helps to have mum friends to message and have a little rant to (hi, Jenna!) because they get it and won't judge.



They both absolutely hate food shopping but guess what? That's life and we have to do it. They will mope and moan and groan the whole way around the shop, attempt to run off (more E than C) so Chris and I have actually resorted to pep talks before we even go into the shop which usually includes a bribe of a chocolate bar if they behave themselves. They love to talk about things like poop, farts, bogies and bums at the top of their voices in public and I swear it has to be just so they can embarrass us!

Getting two children dressed in the morning is a hard slog. E will put one sock on and decide it's funny to run away from me so I can't put the rest of her clothes on. C will then think what she's doing is hilarious and do exactly the same thing. And why does it always happen when we're in a hurry to be somewhere? Don't even get me started on the refusal to eat dinner that they specifically ask for. This is one thing that really irritates Chris. I often joke to him that turning 30 is just around the corner and FUE hair transplantation can be a option for the hair that he's losing due to the kids being stressful! Most days after we've put the kids to bed, we just need to relax on the sofa for half an hour before we even attempt to do anything else just so we can recharge a bit. I'm not making parenthood sound very good, am I? I don't think my temperament helps much as I can be a little uptight, find things harder and take things more seriously than they have to be. It's something that I have to work on.

It's not all tough though. There is nothing better than getting some family time like baking together, going to the cinema, being outdoors or having movie or game night. The children are so caring and loving and I couldn't even tell you the amount of hugs and kisses we get and we are constantly being told they love us. I do get a lot of "mum-guilt" over being a shouty mum at times but things like this make me feel a little better about it all. I wouldn't change it for the world.


(This is a sponsored post.)